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Top funny technology quotes
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
The world is very different now. For man holds in his mortal hands the power to abolish all forms of human poverty, and all forms of human life.
I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack that life is extinct on other planets because their scientists were more advanced than ours.
The first rule of any technology used in a business is that automation applied to an efficient operation will magnify the efficiency. The second is that automation applied to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency.
Technology is just a tool. In terms of getting the kids working together and motivating them, the teacher is the most important.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.
Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense.
Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards.
People who are really serious about software should make their own hardware.
All of the books in the world contain no more information than is broadcast as video in a single large American city in a single year. Not all bits have equal value.
The march of science and technology does not imply growing intellectual complexity in the lives of most people. It often means the opposite.
We’ve arranged a civilization in which most crucial elements profoundly depend on science and technology.
Bill Gates is a very rich man today… and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions.
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant.
Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.
Soon silence will have passed into legend. Man has turned his back on silence. Day after day he invents machines and devices that increase noise and distract humanity from the essence of life, contemplation, meditation.
Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.
Globalization, as defined by rich people like us, is a very nice thing… you are talking about the Internet, you are talking about cell phones, you are talking about computers. This doesn’t affect two-thirds of the people of the world.
The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.
Do you realize if it weren’t for Edison we’d be watching TV by candlelight?
The machine does not isolate man from the great problems of nature but plunges him more deeply into them.
Civilization advances by extending the number of important operations which we can perform without thinking of them.
Cyberspace. A consensual hallucination experienced daily by billions of legitimate operators, in every nation, by children being taught mathematical concepts.
If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger.
For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled.
The Internet treats censorship as a malfunction and routes around it.
Technology is a gift of God. After the gift of life it is perhaps the greatest of God’s gifts. It is the mother of civilizations, of arts and of sciences.
What the country needs are a few labor-making inventions.
The newest computer can merely compound, at speed, the oldest problem in the relations between human beings, and in the end the communicator will be confronted with the old problem, of what to say and how to say it.
Humanity is acquiring all the right technology for all the wrong reasons.
Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.
Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector. It encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully.
Technology is making gestures precise and brutal, and with them men.
It is questionable if all the mechanical inventions yet made have lightened the day’s toil of any human being.
I just invent, then wait until man comes around to needing what I’ve invented.
Technology is so much fun but we can drown in our technology. The fog of information can drive out knowledge.
The internet is a great way to get on the net.
The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited.
For my confirmation, I didn’t get a watch and my first pair of long pants, like most Lutheran boys. I got a telescope. My mother thought it would make the best gift.
Microsoft isn’t evil, they just make really crappy operating systems.
If we continue to develop our technology without wisdom or prudence, our servant may prove to be our executioner.
There are three roads to ruin women, gambling and technicians. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with technicians.
Our technological powers increase, but the side effects and potential hazards also escalate.
People are stunned to hear that one company has data files on 185 million Americans.
Defect-free software does not exist.
Congress will pass a law restricting public comment on the Internet to individuals who have spent a minimum of one hour actually accomplishing a specific task while on line.
Building technical systems involves a lot of hard work and specialized knowledge: languages and protocols, coding and debugging, testing and refactoring.
Doing linear scans over an associative array is like trying to club someone to death with a loaded Uzi.
Real programmers can write assembly code in any language.
You affect the world by what you browse.
In software systems it is often the early bird that makes the worm.
The Internet is a telephone system that’s gotten uppity.
Technology has to be invented or adopted.
Building one space station for everyone was and is insane: we should have built a dozen.
What new technology does is create new opportunities to do a job that customers want done.
We are the children of a technological age. We have found streamlined ways of doing much of our routine work. Printing is no longer the only way of reproducing books. Reading them, however, has not changed.
Tweeting is like sending out cool telegrams to your friends once a week.
The Linux philosophy is ‘Laugh in the face of danger’. Oops. Wrong One. ‘Do it yourself’. Yes, that’s it.
It may not always be profitable at first for businesses to be online, but it is certainly going to be unprofitable not to be online.
It’s impossible to move, to live, to operate at any level without leaving traces, bits, seemingly meaningless fragments of personal information.
Just as we could have rode into the sunset, along came the Internet, and it tripled the significance of the PC.
Technology… is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other.
I think complexity is mostly sort of crummy stuff that is there because it’s too expensive to change the interface.
Style used to be an interaction between the human soul and tools that were limiting. In the digital era, it will have to come from the soul alone.
I want people to use Perl. I want to be a positive ingredient of the world and make my American history. So, whatever it takes to give away my software and get it used, that’s great.
Sites need to be able to interact in one single, universal space.
The Web as I envisaged it, we have not seen it yet. The future is still so much bigger than the past.
I have an almost religious zeal… not for technology per se, but for the Internet which is for me, the nervous system of mother Earth, which I see as a living creature, linking up.
The telephone is a 100-year-old technology. It’s time for a change. Charging for phone calls is something you did last century.
I think it is inevitable that people program poorly. Training will not substantially help matters. We have to learn to live with it.
Technology is the knack of so arranging the world that we don’t have to experience it.
We will create a civilization of the Mind in Cyberspace. May it be more humane and fair than the world your governments have made before.
Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds.
The ‘Net is a waste of time, and that’s exactly what’s right about it.
Leaders have to act more quickly today. The pressure comes much faster.
What’s sort of interesting about the whole public relations disaster that is the Net, in some ways, is that the fundamentals are really good.
We’re still in the first minutes of the first day of the Internet revolution.
Microsoft is engaging in unlawful predatory practices that go well beyond the scope of fair competition.
The system of nature, of which man is a part, tends to be self-balancing, self-adjusting, self-cleansing. Not so with technology.
Gates is the ultimate programming machine. He believes everything can be defined, examined, reduced to essentials, and rearranged into a logical sequence that will achieve a particular goal.
I used to think that cyberspace was fifty years away. What I thought was fifty years away, was only ten years away. And what I thought was ten years away… it was already here. I just wasn’t aware of it yet.
We need a data network that can easily carry voice, instead of what we have today, a voice network struggling to carry data.
I think people have a vague sense that the television system is changing.
The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life.
It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.
The only thing that I’d rather own than Windows is English, because then I could charge you two hundred and forty-nine dollars for the right to speak it.
The most important and urgent problems of the technology of today are no longer the satisfactions of the primary needs or of archetypal wishes, but the reparation of the evils and damages by the technology of yesterday.
The research rat of the future allows experimentation without manipulation of the real world. This is the cutting edge of modeling technology.
While the rest of the world has been improving technology, Ghana has been improving the quality of man’s humanity to man.
We have also arranged things so that almost no one understands science and technology. This is a prescription for disaster. We might get away with it for a while, but sooner or later this combustible mixture of ignorance and power is going to blow up in our faces.
Technology is nothing. What’s important is that you have a faith in people, that they’re basically good and smart, and if you give them tools, they’ll do wonderful things with them.
We live in a society exquisitely dependent on science and technology, in which hardly anyone knows anything about science and technology.
If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 MPG.
Information technology and business are becoming inextricably interwoven. I don’t think anybody can talk meaningfully about one without the talking about the other.
I’m sorry, it’s true. Having children really changes your view on these things. We’re born, we live for a brief instant, and we die. It’s been happening for a long time. Technology is not changing it much – if at all.
I think it’s brought the world a lot closer together, and will continue to do that. There are downsides to everything there are unintended consequences to everything. The most corrosive piece of technology that I’ve ever seen is called television – but then, again, television, at its best, is magnificent.
I’ve always wanted to own and control the primary technology in everything we do.
It’s not a faith in technology. It’s faith in people.
The over-all point is that new technology will not necessarily replace old technology, but it will date it. By definition. Eventually, it will replace it. But it’s like people who had black-and-white TVs when color came out. They eventually decided whether or not the new technology was worth the investment.
So let’s not use a stylus. We’re going to use the best pointing device in the world. We’re going to use a pointing device that we’re all born with – born with ten of them. We’re going to use our fingers. We’re going to touch this with our fingers. And we have invented a new technology called multi-touch, which is phenomenal. It works like magic.
With our technology, with objects, literally three people in a garage can blow away what 200 people at Microsoft can do. Literally can blow it away. Corporate America has a need that is so huge and can save them so much money, or make them so much money, or cost them so much money if they miss it, that they are going to fuel the object revolution.
Why are we, as a nation so obsessed with foreign things? Is it a legacy of our colonial years? We want foreign television sets. We want foreign shirts. We want foreign technology. Why this obsession with everything imported?
Capitalist production, therefore, develops technology, and the combining together of various processes into a social whole, only by sapping the original sources of all wealth – the soil and the labourer.
The advance of technology is based on making it fit in so that you don’t really even notice it, so it’s part of everyday life.
If future generations are to remember us more with gratitude than sorrow, we must achieve more than just the miracles of technology. We must also leave them a glimpse of the world as it was created, not just as it looked when we got through with it.
We humans are an extremely important manifestation of the replication bomb, because it is through us – through our brains, our symbolic culture and our technology – that the explosion may proceed to the next stage and reverberate through deep space.
The new information technology… Internet and e-mail… have practically eliminated the physical costs of communications.
The Massachusetts Institute of Technology accepts blacks in the top ten percent of students, but at MIT this puts them in the bottom ten percent of the class.
Technology is destructive only in the hands of people who do not realize that they are one and the same process as the universe.
Technology has advanced more in the last thirty years than in the previous two thousand. The exponential increase in advancement will only continue. Anthropological Commentary The opposite of a trivial truth is false the opposite of a great truth is also true.
The medium is the message. This is merely to say that the personal and social consequences of any medium – that is, of any extension of ourselves – result from the new scale that is introduced into our affairs by each extension of ourselves, or by any new technology.
The humanists’ replacement for religion: work really hard and somehow you’ll either save yourself or you’ll be immortal. Of course, that’s a total joke, and our progress is nothing. There may be progress in technology but there’s no ethical progress whatsoever.
I think we are living in selfish times. I’m the first one to say that I’m the most selfish. We live in the so-called ‘first world,’ and we may be first in a lot of things like technology, but we are behind in empathy.
Everything is fraught with danger. I love technology and I love science. It’s just always all in the way you use it. So there’s no – you can’t really blame anything on the technology. It’s just the way people use it, and it always has been.
What troubles me is the Internet and the electronic technology revolution. Shyness is fueled in part by so many people spending huge amounts of time alone, isolated on e-mail, in chat rooms, which reduces their face-to-face contact with other people.
Piecemeal social engineering resembles physical engineering in regarding the ends as beyond the province of technology.
I’ve always felt that technology can be used to our benefit and should be used to our benefit.
To make a rock’n’roll record, technology is the least important thing.
Technology favors horrible people.
As technology advances, it reverses the characteristics of every situation again and again. The age of automation is going to be the age of ‘do it yourself.’
It’s a fact that more people watch television and get their information that way than read books. I find new technology and new ways of communication very exciting and would like to do more in this field.
The art challenges the technology, and the technology inspires the art.
I love technology.
Despite all our gains in technology, product innovation and world markets, most people are not thriving in the organizations they work for.
Ronald Reagan said that he sought a Star Wars defense only in order to share the technology with the tyrants of the U.S.S.R.
You know, I thought we could use a good myth about technology to help guide us through these particular modern waters right now.
Science and technology revolutionize our lives, but memory, tradition and myth frame our response.
There’s nothing wrong with technology. It’s when technology is the story and not the artist, that’s the problem.
The spoken word was the first technology by which man was able to let go of his environment in order to grasp it in a new way.
Technology is anything that wasn’t around when you were born.
Technology is such a broad kind of term, it really applies to so many things, from the electric light to running cars on oil. All of these different things can be called technology. I have kind of a love-hate relationship with it, as I expect most people do. With the computer, I spend so many hours sitting in front of a computer.
You used to have to sing and convey emotion, and now, well, technically you can do anything with technology. It sucks for music today, but that’s why that old music feels so good to me.
You can’t really imagine music without technology.
Technology will definitely solve all our problems, but in the process it will create brand new ones. But that’s O.K. because the most you can expect from life is to get to solve better and better problems.
Social media is not about the exploitation of technology but service to community.
It is the framework which changes with each new technology and not just the picture within the frame.
Normally, I love to go to the movies and when I see a character portrayed by different actors at different ages, it kind of pops a little bit for me. It brings me out of the movie experience. Now we have the technology to cure that.
It’s hard to pay attention these days because of multiple affects of the information technology nowadays. You tend to develop a faster, speedier mind, but I don’t think it’s necessarily broader or smarter.
We have more media than ever and more technology in our lives. It’s supposed to help us communicate, but it has the opposite effect of isolating us.
If that’s there, I believe that technology will probably step up to their part of it.
I’m very good with technology, I always have been, and with machines in general. They seem not threatening like other people find them, but a source of fun and amusement.
I’m always interested in what you can do with technology that people haven’t thought of doing yet.
You’d think that in this age, especially in the 21st century – especially with all the technology and all the discoveries that we’ve made – that we would figure out how to tackle abuse.
Not since the digital revolution in the early ’90s has technology placed such a comprehensive burden on business, employees and individuals to reinvent their business plans, services and products, and themselves to keep pace with the changing marketplace.
Saddam Hussein has been engaged in the development of weapons of mass destruction technology which is a threat to countries in the region and he has made a mockery of the weapons inspection process.
I go and see anything that’s visually new, any technology that’s about picture-making. The technology won’t make the pictures different, but someone using it will.
Technology is teaching us to be human again.
Like all technology, social media is neutral but is best put to work in the service of building a better world.
Non-profits must become deeply engaged in the ways that their donor communities are using social technology.
Find the human in the technology. The currency marketers trade in has not changed even if the methods have. Emotion is what we exchange.
The creative destruction that social media is currently unleashing will change more than technology or the leader board of the Fortune 100. It is driving a qualitative shift in the nature of relationships between brands and their customers.
Social technology gives leaders a vital new platform with which to connect their companies to the myriad stakeholders who have an interest in their well being.
Refuse to accept the belief that your professional relevance, career success or financial security turns on the next update on the latest technology. Sometimes it’s good to put the paddle down and just let the canoe glide.
Let’s hope brands recognize that the true power of this technology is not its reach but its ability to communicate substance that adds meaning to our lives. Otherwise, brands will be investing in technology that consumers simply won’t buy.
I don’t believe that government is good at picking technology, particularly technology that is changing. By the time you get it done and go through democracy, it’s so outdated.
There are so many ways to heal. Arrogance may have a place in technology, but not in healing. I need to get out of my own way if I am to heal.
Any new technology tends to go through a 25-year adoption cycle.
Film is a very young art that is still evolving. Soon, we shall reach a balance between content and technology.
Sometimes I’m dazzled by how modern and fabulous we are, and how easy everything can be for us that’s the gilded glow of technology, and I marvel at it all the time.
We’re getting so pulled in by computers and technology, and our kids have their face in the computers all day. The human relationship is being diminished by this.
There are no morals about technology at all. Technology expands our ways of thinking about things, expands our ways of doing things. If we’re bad people we use technology for bad purposes and if we’re good people we use it for good purposes.
I hate to mention age, but I come from an era when we weren’t consumed by technology and television.
If you wanna know how not secure you are, just take a look around. Nothing’s secure. Nothing’s safe. I don’t hate technology, I don’t hate hackers, because that’s just what comes with it, without those hackers we wouldn’t solve the problems we need to solve, especially security.
Mythology and science both extend the scope of human beings. Like science and technology, mythology, as we shall see, is not about opting out of this world, but about enabling us to live more intensely within it.
I consulted a Chinese herbalist and spent two weeks on an island off the coast of Zanzibar. I was away from any kind of contemporary technology.
The basis of our partnership strategy and our partnership approach: We build the social technology. They provide the music.
There is a huge need and a huge opportunity to get everyone in the world connected, to give everyone a voice and to help transform society for the future. The scale of the technology and infrastructure that must be built is unprecedented, and we believe this is the most important problem we can focus on.
Cinema reflects culture and there is no harm in adapting technology, but not at the cost of losing your originality.
Don’t underestimate questions from the crowd technology has made voters more informed than ever.
Many people see technology as the problem behind the so-called digital divide. Others see it as the solution. Technology is neither. It must operate in conjunction with business, economic, political and social system.
I managed Hewlett Packard through the worst technology downturn in 25 years, the dotcom bust.
You know, I believe that technology is the great leveler. Technology permits anybody to play. And in some ways, I think technology – it’s not only a great tool for democratization, but it’s a great tool for eliminating prejudice and advancing meritocracies.
You can find lots of people like you through technology, and women in particular like communities.
In today’s knowledge-based economy, what you earn depends on what you learn. Jobs in the information technology sector, for example, pay 85 percent more than the private sector average.
Today’s stock market actually hates technology, as shown by all-time low price/earnings ratios for major public technology companies.
An awful lot of successful technology companies ended up being in a slightly different market than they started out in.
Technology is like water it wants to find its level. So if you hook up your computer to a billion other computers, it just makes sense that a tremendous share of the resources you want to use – not only text or media but processing power too – will be located remotely.
You are cruising along, and then technology changes. You have to adapt.
There is an enormous market demand for information. It just has to be fulfilled in a way that fits with the technology of our times.
I love what the Valley does. I love company building. I love startups. I love technology companies. I love new technology. I love this process of invention. Being able to participate in that as a founder and a product creator, or as an investor or a board member, I just find that hugely satisfying.
Quantum computation is… a distinctively new way of harnessing nature… It will be the first technology that allows useful tasks to be performed in collaboration between parallel universes.
I’m equally guilty of using technology – I Twitter, I text people, I chat. But I think there’s something strangely insidious about it that it makes us think we’re closer when in fact we’re not seeing each other, we’re not connecting.
Roman civilization had achieved, within the bounds of its technology, relatively as great a mastery of time and space as we have achieved today.
The science of today is the technology of tomorrow.
There’s no question that as science, knowledge and technology advance, that we will attempt to do more significant things. And there’s no question that we will always have to temper those things with ethics.
I love technology, and I don’t think it’s something that should divide along gender lines.
What the world needs is a small, compact, flexible fusion technology that could make electricity where and when it is needed. The existing fusion program is leading to a huge source of centralized power, at a price that nobody except a government can afford.
The reason is that till date, in spite of advances in information technology and strategies of information, the written word in the form of books still remains one of humanity’s most enduring legacies.
With the world’s human population now at seven billion and growing, and the demand for technology and modern conveniences increasing, we can’t control all our negative impacts. But we have to find better ways to live within the limits nature and its cycles impose.
I won’t compare ants and people, but ants give us a useful model of how single members of a community can become so organized that they end up resembling, in effect, one big collective brain. Our own exploding population and communication technology are leading us that way.
Half of Google’s revenue comes from selling text-based ads that are placed near search results and are related to the topic of the search. Another half of its revenues come from licensing its search technology to companies like Yahoo.
The world dominion of western thought, forms of organisation, technology and military force is not God-given, nor eternal, nor greatly appreciated by the rest of the world.
We’re in a new world. We’re in a world in which the possibility of terrorism, married up with technology, could make us very, very sorry that we didn’t act.
The most important thing we can do is inspire young minds and to advance the kind of science, math and technology education that will help youngsters take us to the next phase of space travel.
Some people think technology has the answers.
I got so passionate about technology. Hacking to me was like a video game. It was about getting trophies. I just kept going on and on, despite all the trouble I was getting into, because I was hooked.
Many of these funny technology quotes are the result of a collection from various sources; such as newspapers, magazines, bible, other speakers, write-ups, seminars, articles and websites and every effort has been made to give credit where it is due for the material contained herein.
Most of these funny technology quotes’ meanings are straight forward and easy to understand probably due to their simplicity or nature of their authors, and other funny technology quotes may sound like parables or proverbs which might be difficult to understand their meanings. When you come across difficult funny technology quotes, Please read the quote more than once or repeatedly until you get the meaning.
For some funny technology quotes, you must think deeply and apply wisdom before you can get their meanings. I believe you will learn and apply the lessons contained in some of these funny technology quotes in your life because some of these quotes have already influenced many peoples’ decisions and actions.
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